even my farts smell like vagina
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
