we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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