i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
