To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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