tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
