there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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