Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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