I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
