dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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