Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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