5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
