Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(816): View more from Missouri

She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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(386): View more from Florida

Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

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(916): View more from California

So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.

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