What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
