watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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