Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
