A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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