Kiss
Puke
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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