Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
