can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
