he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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