He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize