i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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