If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
