No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
