a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
