the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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