I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
