He uses pillows to masturbate.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
