I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
