Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
