South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
