He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need to calm my uterus...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
