dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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