She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
