I wannas sexs uuuuu
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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