The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
