On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
