Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
