they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
