sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
