My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
