Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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