I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
