the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
whose parrot is this?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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