I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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