I wish I could teleport
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
