Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
