i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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