matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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