His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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