I cannot find my penis.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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