the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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