Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
