I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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