a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
