she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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