Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
