i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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