i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
