Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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