i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
