we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
