have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
