wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
