I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize