Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
