I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
