You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
