The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
