just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
