I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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