I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
