I would go down on you faster than GM stock
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
