If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize