Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I will be naked everywhere
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
