its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
