she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
