Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's get the cat blown out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
