she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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