it's great music for shaving your balls
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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