I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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