Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
